How to Meet the Moment at Commencement

Co-written with Jeff Nussbaum

Each spring, universities and colleges send out the call to movie stars, business titans, presidential hopefuls, and retired generals: Come inspire our graduates.

The response from many executives has increasingly been: “Thanks but no thanks!” 

Last year, amid protests and campus unrest, only three Fortune 50 CEOs appeared to give commencement addresses. Many who did accept had experiences that left administrators apologetic, like the wave of walkouts that greeted Jerry Seinfeld at Duke University.

Maybe that’s why more institutions seem to be turning to creative options; D'Youville University in Buffalo tapped an AI robot to speak last year — as if graduates needed a reminder of their competition in the job market — and the University of Maryland’s Class of 2025 will welcome Kermit the Frog. (Nothing says “welcome to the real world” like advice from a felt amphibian who lives in a swamp and plays the banjo).

In this climate, it’s easy to say no. Or to say yes, and then essentially say nothing. Many speakers offer empty calories: “Never give up.” They begin with throat-clearing about not remembering a single word from their own graduation, and then do their best to ensure a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If many graduates feel let down and befuddled by their elders, the least those elders can do is speak candidly to those feelings.   

Throughout times of change and upheaval, graduation ceremonies retain a timeless quality. If you find yourself up at that podium, consider some timeless tips that can help you meet the moment.

It’s their day. Make it about them. Nothing kills a wedding toast like talking about yourself instead of the couple. The same rule applies here. The only justifiable reason to catalog the world’s ills is if graduates have a clear place in the story. Leaders who communicate well place their vision within the context of their business or organization. Leaders who communicate very well go another step and place their business in the context of their industry. And the best place it all in the context of the world. They allow their audience to envision their role in the world. That’s who it’s about — them. Not you.   

There’s always a place for humor, even in serious times. Humor is an effective tool for defusing controversy. When Barbara Bush was invited to speak at Wellesley College in 1990, students questioned whether someone best known for her husband’s career was a worthy role model. Bush closed her speech by joking, “Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps and preside over the White House as the president's spouse - and I wish him well!” She earned her standing ovation.

Tell the story only you can tell. Bridge the gap from their seats to your lectern. Many speakers burn precious time searching for an original message. Yes, the graduates have already heard “follow your dreams,” which can ring hollow after a semester of submitting job applications into an algorithmic void. But they haven’t heard your story of how you once gave up a corner office, ate canned chili on an air mattress that deflated every night, and bluffed your way through investor meetings while secretly Googling acronyms under the table. From their seats, the position you’re holding at your lectern may feel unattainable. Help fill in that gap.

Be disciplined about the one idea that matters. Twenty years ago, Steve Jobs told three stories in his iconic Stanford commencement speech. (“No big deal. Just three stories.”) We suggest throwing out the “rule of three” altogether. Rather than give everything to the audience, try to give them one thing and give it well. Make every story or insight fight for its life. Delete what doesn’t serve your point.

Some of the best (and most viral) speeches revolve around one idea. JB Pritzker: “The best way to spot an idiot? Look for the one who is cruel.” Tony Kushner: “The world ends if you don’t organize.”

And don’t underestimate how much weight a small idea can hold. Admiral William McRaven shared his secret to success with the University of Texas at Austin: start the day by making your bed. It became one of the most shared commencement addresses in memory.

Vulnerability cuts through the noise. Conan O’Brien didn’t tell Dartmouth’s Class of 2011 to be resilient; he shared his humiliation when he lost The Tonight Show to Jay Leno. “A little over a year ago, I experienced a profound and very public disappointment,” Conan said. But in the aftermath, he “did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous and seemingly irrational things and, guess what? It was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life…There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.” 

Challenge conventional wisdom. For many students, commencement represents the conclusion of their formal education. No one can make them sit through a lecture ever again. If you’re stuck on your one idea, start with what you didn’t hear at your own commencement but wish you had. Write down some of the tropes and argue the opposite. Maybe you’ve learned that life is a sprint, not a marathon. Or that the path less traveled leads to a dead end.

If the graduates who walked out on Seinfeld stuck around, they would have heard, “About work, you know how they always say, ‘Nobody ever looks back on their life and wishes they spent more time at the office?’... Why don’t they? Guess what? Depends on the job. If you took a stupid job that you find out you hate and you don’t leave, that’s your fault. Don’t blame work; work is wonderful. I definitely will not be looking back on my life wishing I worked less.”

Finally: after you’re done, read it out loud and cut it!  If you’re boring yourself, you’re boring your audience. 

You’ll earn the gratitude of an audience eager to walk across the stage and begin applying your advice out in the world.